Taarof is a sign of politeness among Iranians. People say sentences to show their respect while they don’t really mean it. This Persian word with Arabic roots defines the country’s complex art of etiquette, in which the true meaning of what is said is not in the words, but somewhere beyond them. It’s a subtle dance of communication, where participants step back and forth over and over, never taking over the stage. Originally an Arabic word, taarof تعارف can be translated as ‘offering courtesies’ or ‘compliments’.

In the world of taarof, politeness holds the place of honour. In its name, people refuse when they want to accept, say what is not meant, express what is not felt, invite when it is not intended, replace bad news with false hope. By doing so, they try to say what they “wished it were” – without ever admitting that it isn’t. So when the waiter offers you be his/her guest when you ask for the check, he/she does not have a crush on you, he/she is just trying to be polite.

You will pay the taxi driver the money and he might refuse to accept it. In case you leave the taxi unpaid at this moment, you ‘ll see the driver is disappointed, leaving you in confusion.

Another common situation that you’ll notice Taarof is when you want to leave or enter somewhere. It might take Iranians minutes to wait and ask each other to be the first.

“One key concept in taarof is a function that I have described as ‘getting the lower hand’,” said William O Beeman, professor of anthropology at the University of Minnesota and a Middle East specialist. “Individuals will seek to raise the other person’s status, and lower their own”.

Watch the following videos and answer the questions in response to this Discussion topic.

 

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Answer these questions in response to this blog post.

1. What is Taarof?

 

2. Do you Taarof in your own culture? If you do , bring an example.

 

3. What are some common occasions to use Taarof expressions :

a. Entering the door  وارد در شدن

b. Offering something  تعارف کردن چیزی

c. Shopping خرید کردن

D. Complementing تعریف کردن

E. Paying the bill پرداختن صورت حساب

F. All of the above  همه جوابهای بالا

 

4. What is a negative  response and an affirmative response to this Taarof expression? ” بفرمایید”

 

5.  How do you respond to this complement? “What a beautiful picture !”

” چه قاب عکس  قشنگی “

20 Comments
  1. 1. What is Taarof?
    Taarof is a form of respect

    2. Do you Taarof in your own culture? If you do, bring an example.
    Yes, I am Persian, and many of the examples in the videos I have experienced myself, especially when it comes to someone offering you food.

    3. What are some common occasions to use Taarof expressions :

    a. Entering the door وارد در شدن

    b. Offering something تعارف کردن چیزی

    c. Shopping خرید کردن

    D. Complementing تعریف کردن

    E. Paying the bill پرداختن صورت حساب

    F. All of the above همه جوابهای بالا

    F all of the above is the correct answer

    4. What is a negative response and an affirmative response to this Taarof expression? ” بفرمایید”

    Nemishe and Na Merci

    5. How do you respond to this compliment? “What a beautiful picture !”

    ” چه قاب عکس قشنگی “

    for you برای تو

    1. 1) Taarof is a sign of politeness
      2) My way of using Taarof in my own culture would be by insisting to pay at a restaurant when I am with friends or by letting the person behind me walk in first or use something before me.
      3) all of the above
      4) Nemishe & Na Merci
      5) Thank you. It’s for you (تهنک یو، ایطس فور یو.)

    2. 1. What is Taarof?

      Being humble and showing respect to others. 

      2. Do you Taarof in your own culture? If you do , bring an example.

      Yes, when we are offered food at a strangers house. It is most common respect to deny it first, Then we can accept if we are offered again. This shows that we are humble and are not there to be freeloaders. 

      3. What are some common occasions to use Taarof expressions :

      F. All of the above  همه جوابهای بالا

      4. What is a negative  response and an affirmative response to this Taarof expression? ” بفرمایید”

      Negative response: Nemishe
      Affirmative response: Na Merci

      5.  How do you respond to this complement? “What a beautiful picture !”

      Thank you, its for you.

  2. 1). Taarof is a formality of Iranian culture of saying something out of respect but not actually meaning it

    2). If someone gave me a really nice gift, I might say something along the lines of “this is too much, I can’t accept this”, to which they might insist. In this sense, I would say I use taarof

    3). F – All of the above

    4). نه دیگر & تفرمایید

    5). خواهش میکنم. خوشت می آید (. . .) مالتو

  3. 1. Taarof is a sign of politeness that is used to show others respect.
    2. An example of taarof that can be seen in my family is that we always insist on the other person entering a door/location first and by insisting on paying the bill at restaurants.
    3. F (all of the above)
    4. A negative response would be: Nemishe (It’s not possible); while an affirmative response would be: Na merci (No thank you).
    5. یو آره ولکم! دو یو لیک یات؟ فور یو (You are welcome! Do you like it? For you)

  4. 1. What is Taarof? It is a sign of politeness amongst Iranians. There are sentences and phrases to show respect but the sentences and phrases are not to be taken literally.

    2. Do you have Taarof in your own culture? If you do bring an example. I don’t think we really have a form of Taarof in America. If we had this type of back and forth, because it’s not in our culture, it might be defined as “passive aggression.” We do say things we don’t mean, but it’s not considered a good thing because it’s not a complex social dance. Americans could say something such as, “Oh, it was no problem,” after doing something for someone even though they didn’t want to do it and it was a pain. In general, I think the British are more apt to be artful and have a form of Taarof. They’ll ask if you want tea even if they want you to leave. Most Americans wouldn’t offer you something if they wanted a person to go away. I think Persians are extremely polite.

    3. What are some common occasions to use Taarof expressions : Taarof expressions are appropriate for all of these occasions.

    a. Entering the door وارد در شدن.

    b. Offering something تعارف کردن چیزی

    c. Shopping خرید کردن

    D. Complementing تعریف کردن

    E. Paying the bill پرداختن صورت حساب

    F. All of the above همه جوابهای بال-

    4. What is a negative response and an affirmative response to this Taarof expression? ” بفرمایید”
    Affirmative response:نفرمایید قربان
    Negative response: نه ، نه ، بهرحال شما مهمان اید

    5. How do you respond to this complement? “What a beautiful picture !” چه قاب عکس قشنگی “
    Response: مال تو

  5. 1. Taarof is a form of respect for demonstrating politeness towards another person.
    2. Yes, I do have Taarof in my own culture because I am Persian, and an example I have seen is when my family argues with each other about who wants to pay the bill.
    3. F. All of the above همه جوابهای بالا
    4. A negative response to this Taarof expression would be “nemishe” and “na merci”.
    5. You respond to this compliment by saying “مال تو”.

  6. 1.) Taarof is a form of generosity and respect in Iranian culture.

    2.) Yes. There is Taarof in my household and culture because we are Persian. We constantly offer each other food and beverages and insist on cleaning the table or washing the dishes after a meal while the other relaxes.

    3.) F. All of the above همه جوابهای بالا

    4.) A negative response to this taarof expression would be “nemishe” while an affirmative response to it would be “na merci”.

    5.) A proper response to this compliment would be “مال تو”

  7. 1. Taarof is a polite gesture among Iranians. 

    2. yes, we do have taarof in our culture. one of the most common taarof is fighting over who is going to pay the bill.

    3. F. All of the above همه جوابهای بالا

    4. نه مرسی و نمیشه

    5. مال تو

    1. 1. Taroof is a sign of politeness among Iranians. 

      2.  Yes, I am Iranian and my family fights over the bill when eating out all the time. 

      3.  F

      4.  Nemeshi and Nah Merci 

      5. response you can provide would be: مال تو

       

  8. 1. Taarof is a sign of respect and kindness, such as declining something purely to be respectful, even if you want it.
    2. Since I am Iranian, I have experienced taarof my whole life. An example of this would be if someone wants to pay for something but you insist to pay for it yourself.
    3. F, all of the above
    4. نه دیگر and نه, بفرمایید
    5. بفرمایید, مال تو

  9. 1) Taarof is a form of respect and kindness shown towards someone in Persian culture, even when you don’t mean it.
    2) My family often offers snacks and desserts whenever we are at their house, and we politely refuse out of respect and not wanting to seem greedy, however we always end up having some.
    3) All of the above (F)
    4) Nemishe (میشه) and na merci (نه مرسی)
    5) For you (مال تو). As to respect them and their compliment.

  10. 1. Taarof is a kind of respect and kindness in the Persian culture, by either being insisting others to take something or declining something that you want.
    2. Armenians do something very similar, I was giving my friend his birthday belated birthday gift to him which I wasnt able to give because I was sick, and it took me a good 10 minutes of insisting him to take it.
    3. F. All of the above
    4. either نه مرسی or میشه
    5. Best response is مال تو, which means For you

  11. 1.) Taarof is an Iranian custom where you initially decline an offer as a form of respect to others.
    2.) Yes, I partake in taarof in my own culture because I am Iranian. A common example of taarof in action is when you are attempting to pay for a service. For instance, at the end of a taxi drive, it is common to ask the driver how much you owe. The driver will insist that you do not need to pay for the drive and you must partake in a back and forth exchange with the driver until you eventually pay for their service.
    3.) F. All of the above  همه جوابهای بالا
    4.) A negative response is “nemishe” (میشه) and a positive response is “na merci” (نه مرسی)
    5.) One response you could provide is مال تو

  12. 1. Taarof is saying/refusing things out of respect but not really mean it.
    2. Yes, in Hungarian culture you do Taarof, but you do not make it obvious where strangers will notice. Example: we will only fight for the bill until one person gets loud enough for another table to notice
    3. F. All of the above is correct همه جوابهای بالا
    4. a negative response would be میشه (nemishe) and an affirmative response would be نه مرسی (na merci)
    5. one response can be مال تو, which is “for you”, meaning “you should have it”.

  13. 1. taarof is a sign of politeness
    2. Yes we do taarof in our culture, an example is when fight over paying the bill
    3. F- all of the above
    4. Na merci or nemishe
    5. response you can provide would be: مال تو

  14. 1. Taarof is a sign of politeness
    2. I am Persian so every example in the videos apply to me
    3. All of the above
    4. Na Merci
    5. Thank you

  15. 1. Taarof is a signifier of politeness in Persian culture

    2. I Taarof with my parents every time I’m leaving their house and they try to give me food to take home with me.

    3. It’s F: All of the above همه جوابهای بالا

    4. nemishe: میشه or na merci نه مرسی

    5. offer it to the guest by saying مال تو

  16. 1. Taarof is a way to show politeness within Persian culture by constantly trying to get the “lower hand”.
    2. I have experienced lots of taarof since I am Persian. For example, family members fighting over who should pay the check at dinner.
    3. F. All of the above
    4 na merci.
    5. “you should have it”

  17. 1. Taarof is a formality where you say something that you don’t actually mean but do so to show respect and courtesy.
    2. My culture doesn’t taarof, but I have adopted it since I started dating my Persian girlfriend and try to offer food as much as possible.
    3. All of the Above همه جوابهای بالا
    4. Nemishe (میشه) or na mersi (نه مرسی)
    5. For you (مال تو)

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